I remember waking up to what felt like my heart beating out of my chest. And after a week of acting strange, being distant and feeling disconnected with myself, I finally realized why. That realization took me by surprise. Because, well, I have been doing so well. But after admitting to myself that the very thought of … Continue reading Chapter 13: When The Past Calls, Answer. It Has Something Important To Say.
It's those moments that you are lying in shavasana at the end of a yoga class thinking, though you're not supposed to, with a tear running down your cheek. And you realize that although some moments in that class were physically painful, it's over now - the hard part only lasted a minute or two. You come … Continue reading Chapter 12: The Most Painful Things In Life Aren’t Physical
I am a little embarrassed to admit it - but, Dr. Google was my friend not too long ago. I would ask it anything from what is an acoustic neuroma to what does brainstem compression mean? This resource helped me understand every sentence of my MRI report and even let me watch a video of what my surgery would look … Continue reading Chapter 11: Why Are We So Obsessed With Having Everything Figured Out?
It was the morning of February 14th, 2017 that my family stood at the end of the hallway and watched me slowly disappear on a stretcher - not knowing when they would be able to see me next. I would be wheeled down the hall for a couple of minutes with a nurse wearing a blue cap to the … Continue reading Chapter 10: Fifteen Days After My 10-Hour Brain Surgery
I never thought it would end. The nightmare that replaced my Midas touch. When everything was perfect – I couldn’t complain. I still did, though. Because traffic is annoying. I had nothing to wear. It is challenging deciding when the best time to travel is. Those 5 pounds - pesky, aren’t they? But I celebrated, too. … Continue reading Chapter 9: Overcoming depression – tell someone
On Thursday September 8th, 2016 at 10:15 in the morning, I was diagnosed with a non-malignant, slow growing, 3.2 cm brain tumor. I will never forget this day. I will never forget how the doctor wouldn’t come right out and say it. As he sat across from me and placed the MRI report in front … Continue reading Chapter 8 : Silver lining
At least once a day, I get a message from someone asking when my surgery will be. And at least once a day I am reminded that I literally have no idea. At least 5 times a day, I think to myself “I wonder when they are going to call me”. And at least 5 … Continue reading Chapter 7: Impatiently patient
I have come to realize that although we are all different, there is something that we all closely share. Something that we all experience at one point or another. And although it is likely that our circumstances will differ-it is inevitable that we will all go through this it at some point in our life. … Continue reading Chapter 6: Somewhere in between
As I lay here in bed with my boyfriend snoring beside me (sorry Colin), I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep because my mind is going a million miles a minute. I am googling, as I do every night “people with brain tumors” “brain tumor success stories”. I will wake up tomorrow and watch Ted talks … Continue reading Chapter 5: “How do you do it?”
When I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was look in the mirror. I did the same thing yesterday and quite possibly every single day since I was diagnosed. Vanity? Hardly. Rather, I am making sure that my face is still symmetrical. You see – this tumor grows and impedes many cranial … Continue reading Chapter 4: Face your fears